July 2018 / ann of april

Little mindset updates and takeaways from my last breakdown

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  • Sunday, 29 July 2018

mindset updates after my last breakdown

For whose who often is on the dark side of own mind and struggling with depressive and panic periods: YOU CAN HANDLE IT ON YOUR OWN if your desire is strong enough, the desire to help yourself (if not, you're definitely in a need of a good doctor, I can't afford it so I've programmed my mind on self-healing ‘cause it's my personal circumstances). Someone says that's not a depression but why so many people aren't aware of own mind conditions which constantly hold them back from desirable things. That's exactly what I said, the difference is only in intensity of attacks and personal genetic predispositions.

The burning desire to get out of the deepest hole of frustration and depression can heal everything.

Some things have been reopened and reconsidered for me again, the things which I've already done and known back in the days but forgotten to revive and revise these simple truths from time to time. How ridiculous to know some things, experience them and suddenly forget!

It's time to gather any positive experience from the past for better and healthier living in the current. It's the only way to use the past for advancements. Remember the best moments of personal growth and gather them together to live the best life. And it's up to you (and me) whether you choose to hold on negative hard events and tough breakdowns or you decide to concentrate on amazing breakthroughs and further improvements. You choose and I choose too, every single day. There's no miserable fortune if we don't create it in our inner realm on our own.

I'm not talking about sudden and prompt physical changes or sudden improvements in my creative work and magical opportunities. I'm talking about these so important and significant improvements in my mindset which let me live better and healthier life than before.

After a couple of vague days, I looked at my life with a new point of view, however, I was close to it already before this breakdown but that's my bad habit (I think) to grow only through a bad experience, I mean through breakdowns, it's still a secret mechanism for me how to grow without any big drama...

I'm glad that I've found the power inside me to cope with this crisis on my own (except for a help of a good book which i've found just in time, in alignment with my inner situation). Time is a miraculous healer. I've given the necessary time myself to recharge my batteries, and my body, mind and soul have thanked me for that.

And I know that everyone can find this visceral power to overcome every obstacles (including inner ones), pangs of frustration and depression and even terrifying panic attacks. Everyone is able to find this power to be a warrior and then a master of own mind (working on that, that's a perpetual process) instead of being a victim. If we really want to help ourselves, we can do everything. The strong desire is the key.


I'm not going to write about my previous experiences with physical problems, about panic attacks or past experience with depression (as I wanted to write it on here a few days before) 'cause all these are in the dead past (remember my post, it's for me too as well). Yes, I was scared of these strong feelings of frustration and disheartening. I was and not wanting to feel it again in this intensity and not going to  concentrate on negativity.

I'm tired of being a victim of my fears, victim of circumstances. So I'm going to extract only positive things which help me grow right now. And everyone should concentrate on a good side of things and delete every bad events for the sake of mental health like you're a person without the past (without sad or disappointing past). Even if it sounds insane, this insanity is way better for you, you'll see that.

Why we go mad with miserable things, when we can go happily crazy with a  positive picture of desirable life and unwavering faith and decisive actions towards our dreams but still living and enjoying the present moment? You see, this is a thin border.

I choose to be a happy fool instead of miserable one (no matter what my stubborn mind said me "you've showed your weakness so be who you showed people, be cohesive in your showing and miserable being" but NO, I'm going to be a happy fool instead).

I can't effectively show and describe my personal experience, evidently 'cause it went through my mind (equal to my little world), everyone has to go through that by himself for own insights. Indeed, I don't say that this is my final stage of self-improvement, of course not. I'm not a blind dummy to claim that I've mastered my mind for a couple of days hah. Obviously, anxiety and hard feelings will come back to me (and very soon, if to be realistic and honest) but that's my choice, suffer from them or search effective ways to cope with them as quick as possible.  

If you feel you want to do something, start it now, it's the best time, you're ready if you know what you want! If you don't know, the best things are to come, just let your subconscious mind shows the things which touch and light up your soul. Trust you authentic self (not your fears) and go down your own path.

I have to admit that I'm afraid of certain things like a normal person but most of them are wrong expectations and assumptions which have led me to huge stresses and last breakdown particularly. But 

DOUBTS kill more dreams than failure ever will. 

So sad that this deep understanding does not always easily come. Fears and doubts are notoriously known as the main enemies of healthy and happy life. But for now I can tell you even if they're the main actual triggers of our breakdowns, panic attacks and depressive periods, we can fight and handle them by awareness and finding personally effective methods to calm ourselves down.

Another great thing is gratitude, I'd like to tell you. Honestly I've just fully realized that. How can I? But that's the real life-changing thing. I've started to notice at least 5 things a day I'm grateful for and that's such a relief for me. This huge stress created by my own mind makes me realize that's enough to take my life for granted. I want to start living the moment. Life is too short to suffer from own mind!

{I think, I will periodically share my mindset updates even further or at least inspiration on the way to better and healthier living.} So stay connected and I sincerely appreciate any your support! Thank you!


Ann XOXO
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3 worthy podcast episodes about momentum and intuitive living

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  • Thursday, 19 July 2018


3 podcasts about momentum and intuitive living

If you've caught up on my latest blog post about self-love, you know, I'm pretty much into the theme of living in the moment, stop clinging to the past, do my best on the way to my goals and keep the momentum going. Momentum and intuition are my key relevant points for now which I cannot but touch on them. Recently I've come up with a conclusion that I'm actually clinging to my past mistakes during a day and nurturing fear of failures by clinging to the past and being anxious about my future at the same time.

So it's the perfect time to start overcoming doubts and fears with a new wave of energy while I'm consciously detecting them and it's the perfect time to start feeding positive environment instead of negative, upsetting and disheartening one. 

So here is one of the unique ways to create a new positive environment and it's listening to podcasts (if you like me haven't enough positive and supportive people around, podcast hosts can be a good substitute for your real environment in some ways) So here are 3 podcast episodes about momentum and intuition (our authentic inner voice). 

3 podcasts about momentum and intuitive living

Maintaining momentum. Myleik Teele’s podcast
About all these things how to stop living in the past, don't afraid of the future and start living in the present and maintaining momentum. Some practical steps you can find there. 

Don't let your expectations crush your momentum. Make it happen
Her podcasts are focused on creative entrepreneurs but I think it's pretty useful for everyone on here ‘cause we're all guilty of creation expectations of quick results. Yeah, I'm still in process of maintaining the patient and harmonious state of mind and keeping the momentum alive so podcasts are great for brushing up on. Besides her recent episodes are short so it won't be a tall order to listen to them. Easy peasy and valuable at the same time. You can listen to this episode right here. 

What I've learned from living + flowing intuitively for two years. The lively show 
The name of the episode is pretty self-explanatory, you see. Find there benefits of living intuitively. How it impacts on our mind and how it makes our life simpler. Podcasts can help our stubborn mind to tune in the right direction despite the years of living in an unconscious mode, we actually can change it in any time and one of the helpers is listening to podcasts. {This podcast episode is long and  chit chatty one so for quick information turn to first episodes above} Sometimes it demands to relisten to them to make things click (as it's usually happening with great books full of sobering truths) but it's definitely worth it.

Please, share with me your favourite podcast episodes below if you have some!

3 podcasts about momentum and intuitive living
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Self-love: stop clinging to the past

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  • Wednesday, 11 July 2018



stop living in the past, can't live in the past

How often have you caught yourself on permanent self-talk about the past events? How often have you caught yourself thinking about possible outcomes which will never happen? How often have you thought that you should've said differently to the person or you should've not done something which has already happened? We're chewing certain past events again and again in our head. And it can last forever.

At the other end of the spectrum, we can think that there was better in our past. The sky was bluer, the earth was greener. But again that's only our thoughts and emotions we attach to them. Getting nostalgic is no better than dwelling on grudge and resentment (read: clinging to some events from the past).

We don't notice consciously this self-talk, most of the time, and it demands mindful efforts to catch and stop yourself. So here we are to work on our thoughts consciously.

I believe this theme is important on the way to self-love {and I'm going to devote to the self-perception theme not only this one post but the whole series ‘cause it's the relevant point for me, I definitely can relate to this ‘cause I always had issues with self-confidence and self-love, and honestly still working on it but now it's better than it used to be}. So the importance of this theme is evident, you know it on your own.

Dwelling on the past holds us back. We stop growing, stop achieving, we stop enjoying our life ‘cause we're not here, we're in the past, in fact, we're trapped in our head where non-existent events are going over and over again.

But how to stop cling to the past?

Forgive yourself

It's happened already. The past is dead. You're here in the present moment.

The most sobering and clinking thought I've ever read is the thought from the great book (I recommend you to read this book, it's easy to read and full of really sobering truths) The Fifth Agreement by don Miguel Ruiz & don Jose Ruiz:

Humans carry our past, our history, around with us, and it’s just like we’re carrying a heavy corpse. For some it’s not that heavy, but for the majority of people that corpse is very heavy. And it’s not just heavy; it smells very bad."
So why we stinking up our life by repeating 'mistakes' in our head while we can just learn our lesson and move forward? No one can be your best friend except for you by yourself. No one can make you love and care for yourself, only YOU can do it. So why we make yourselves suffer all our life instead of once when it happened in the past? Why we carry these heavy stinking corpses around?

stop living in the past, can't live in the past

Compassion and understanding

Forgive others. Imagine that other people have their own fears, complexes and inner enemies. How deeply they can be miserable if they did it to you? Forgive them, they suffer from their own mind. You must not suffer from your own, you're a conscious creature, be on your own side!

Of course, fears and complexes aren't excuses for bad behaviour and acting poorly, but at the very least, you understand that they act under the influence of own inner worlds. And sometimes these worlds can be broken and rotten.

Understand that people live in own little worlds and you can do nothing with it until these people will desire to change something on their own. And again you forgive them for yourself, not for being nice with them.

Forget about those events

Most likely you've learned your lesson already. Free up precious space for your new ideas and accomplishments. Why bad people and situations take the best seats in your head and your life? Delete them all as if your mind is a computer 'cause RAM of our mind is limited, unfortunately or fortunately. We cannot waste it on miserable things.

Stop explaining yourself and argue

You do you and better be happy than always try to convince someone of something. It's ungrateful thing 'cause everyone sees life from own perspectives. If someone can relate to your thoughts there's the only explanation that the inner world of this person resonates with your belief system. That's amazing! But you still can't convince anyone if they don't want to be convinced.

stop living in the past, can't live in the past

Stop badmouthing and constant criticism

We often fail to notice when we go little too far with badmouthing other people, especially if they've really hurt us. It often happens when our perspectives on life differ from the perspectives of others.

But remember it's like

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”
or

Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die"
We're all guilty of that in some way. But we all also can get a grip on our thoughts. Isn't it amazing?

Most likely you'll forget it all as time goes on

New events and ideas will force out and replace any past events in your head in any case. So why you still cling to it if they will disappear anyway? If you can start freeing up a place for good opportunities instead of stuck in the past.

My mind has a useful feature, it forgets about bad situations or at least about the details of them quite quickly. But you can train your mind to let go of things. It's like another habit cultivation.


stop living in the past, can't live in the past

You ask where is here about self-love? Everywhere. Forgiveness is one of the ways to self-love. Forgive yourself and your past mistakes and you're halfway to your healthy self-perception. Forgive others and forget about their past behaviour and you're wide open to new opportunities ‘cause you love yourself. We all have bad days and unfortunate events but self-love mustn't be influenced by these things. Loving yourself is unwavering permanent action so you can't be hard on yourself one day and love yourself on another. There are different days and different moods in a day but you must be on your side, not opposite! We're here and now. And this is the best time, this is the only time to live. That's our present.

Have a great day!

Ann XOXO

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