August goals / ann of april

August goals

To be honest, I'm not in the best productive shape now and recently my anxiety was progressing again, and while I'm scared after my last breakdown (I think it was most intensive and long one in my life) so it got worse again. It forces myself to pay thorough attention to every important aspect of my life. I've known some of the reasons for my last breakdown and frustration after several journaling sessions but these reasons are still unsolved no matter that I know, that always holds me back. I have to admit I have a quite negative mind. But August… I want to call this month as the month for self-care (soul, mind and body together). Of course, every month should be full of self-care. But it's personal for me, you see.

Besides, I've started taking a nonbenzodiazepine anxiolytic after my meal to help my brain with handling stresses (still without doctor's prescription). I hope it'll help me in a few weeks so I won't have to go to the doctor ‘cause it has become too hard to be positive lately. It's a threshold of happy healthy sane living so I have to start helping myself on different levels right now.

But back to my monthly goals, they're all based on mental and physical health, you'll see.

Go with a flow and always give myself time

Put all pressure out of me. I need time, I need freedom. I need enjoying my life. You know that the most beautiful (in many aspects) things in the world are created with a creative flow. With a flow from the deepest parts of our soul, from the deepest and most honest parts of our authentic self.
I'm going to post things on here and my Instagram only when I'm ok and in a good mood. I want to channel the right message with positive creative energy. Other things don't even matter. I want to send your only a good message. Less analysing more doing with an authentic current.

Go to bed before 23:00

It's a real tall order for me but I have to do it for my health. I see where it's led (my neglecting and carelessness). Yeah, lack of precious sleep before 24:00 has taken its toll. I want to be on my side and I want to help my body and mind so they'll help my soul to channel everything for what I've put on the earth.

Create even more mindful morning routine

Well-known fact that the morning is the most important part of the day. I was doing already some good things like reading, reciting affirmations, meditation (sometimes). But lack of the persistence and constant randomness of my actions do its work (like I often said I don't like strict schedule, it doesn't work with me, but on the other hand, I need more structure in my life ‘cause it can easily turn into a hot mess, you've seen)

First of all, I want to add yoga into my morning routine, actually, as a first (almost) thing I do in the morning. I was looking at yogi girls for some time lately and bearing this thought in my mind for a month I think… it seems it's the perfect time to start. {I've already started doing anxiety-releasing yoga in the morning and sometimes in the night when I have some spare time, yin yoga if to be more precise}

Secondly, I want to continue my meditation practice. I'm an absolute newbie but I've already loved this pleasant feeling of calming down mind at least for a little while ‘cause I have a buzzing and very anxious mind you know.

Thirdly, recite my affirmations instead of rewriting. It saves my previous time. And besides, I still believe in the power of affirmations (self-suggestion). Of course, when you're just starting self-suggestion practice it's better to write them down for better efficiency and concentration on necessary things but for now I feel that reciting my affirmations is enough for me.

Listen to my inner voice

Not a voice of my fears and doubts, it's voice of misconceptions, not actually my authentic inner voice. Authenticity… I pretty often write about that or think about… ‘cause that's my main point which I'm pursuing now. Make happy my real self. Put my health and authentic desires into priorities (as all people should do it for yourselves).

Create more mindful evening routine

Apart from going to bed before 23:00, I'd like to recite affirmations and meditate in the evening too to keep positive vibes in my mind ‘cause evening is the hardest time to keep myself positive (because of tiredness after a long day). I think it will have a strong influence on my mind ‘cause evenings are always meaningful in terms of the next day. Yoga is a good option too. Just have to give myself time for self-care a bit more.

The next thing is a gratitude journal. Write down at least 3 (better 5) things I'm grateful for every day. Probably, it can be a life-changing habit too.

I choose to concentrate on positive things instead of negative ones as my mind is accustomed to. I choose to concentrate consciously on abundance instead of lack no matter how hard it can seem. It's hard for me but I believe, strong desire and faith in myself and my journey can lead me if I'll surrender and trust this without hesitation.

Love myself with unwavering persistence

I've realized for now at last that without self-love nothing can be done in right way. No positive changes can be created without self-love aligning to my authentic self ‘cause otherwise it's based on fears and wish to satisfy standards of others. I don't say that your inner standards can't coincide with imposed standards sometimes but it's a thin border which I still haven't found yet, obviously.
Concentrate on myself, it's not a selfishness it's the only way I can channel something positive,  inspiring and creative from within. It's about my real inner voice, my true inner self again.

I've realized this is the only meaningful thing on the way of changes. For now, I see why I rarely can maintain my weight, my positive mindset and so on ‘cause it's all about relationships with ourselves. It's an uneasy relationship but pursuing inner harmony is my final goal. Of course, there are always ups and downs but most of the time it should be ups with strong faith and unwavering self-love. For sure, I have so much work to do and it isn't the final stage. It cannot be, evidently. But at least it's the next important stage. Will see where it'll lead.

Find this thin border between calming down the mind and getting things done

These things are quite opposite and it's easy to stuck in one thing like constant doing things (hectic life but without completing stuff) or vice versa calming down, overrelaxing, procrastinating (actually don't get things done either) … Finding this thin line, this balance is quite hard for me to be honest. But I want to change my attitude to that and try to listen to my inner voice and my natural creative flow with a gentle guidance if I start to overdoing some certain things. For me personally, the balance was (and is) always the most desirable and pursuing thing.

Sometimes you're beating your head against the wall like a mad blind dummy but then all of a sudden find the open door just a few steps away.

PS besides I hope my safe anxiolytic will help me soon and I'll able to do all my fave stuff with previous enthusiasm.

Have you set your monthly goals already?


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