Finding inner peace & my little mindset updates and takeaways / ann of april

Finding inner peace & my little mindset updates and takeaways

If you read my IG posts and Stories usually (or at least sometimes), you know that I've just coped with a big breakdown in the end of the year which grew strong when my expectations  crushed into reality and my inaction (because of fears and self-doubts). And evidently, I wasn't feeling ok at all. Anxious, apathetic, depressed, uninspired, unhappy, super vulnerable, afraid of losing everything for what I have worked my *ss off for a year and more but still not acted as I should act (just do what I did further and concentrate only on the process). I've already shared a kind of similar blogpost before, the post with my little mindset updates and takeaways in the end of July and the post about creative blocks and some lessons, so for now I'd like to continue my inconsistent series with this blogpost.

So in case of my last breakdown in short, I allowed myself feel really bad ‘cause I had no inner power to be positive. I was miserable, unproductive and disconnected. I cried until I was tired of crying and my head was too sore to continue whining (it was pathetic! not gonna lie hah) and then until crying was naturally replaced by indifference as a normal defense mechanism of my organism. I started listening to inspirational talks on YouTube (in my case) even before the moment of indifference, but resistance was so strong that when I listened to these talks I cried again because I've not got to the point where I could find desirable peace in myself (I was angry at myself and at the fact that I can't do and achieve things which other people do and achieve easily). It took not one day obviously. So I continued to be miserable but listened to inspirational talks to find the guidance of reconnecting with myself. But my inner self  wanted to reconnect too so I think it went even without my conscious acts, it just need some time to break through my sore and broken ego. {I also have the blogpost about how to stop clinging to the past, check it out if you've noticed it in yourself lately + blogpost with productivity tips which I've found helpful for me even more so now}.

Don't want to go in details too much, you know from your own experience that breakdowns and periods of frustration are the undesirable part of our life but sometimes unavoidable, unfortunately. Just know that your inner self (under the cover of your identity which is not your real self, especially if it tortures you, but just mostly a compilation of images and opinions of others), your inner self knows way more than you think, and if you let your inner advisor lead you, I promise, you will feel better, way better. Probably some people live pretty ok and aligned with own identity without an outside guidance, know and follow this truth initially, but my mind always tortures me. So the time for mental resurrection was extremely important (it's ridiculous how often you read about my breakdowns, but I don't know why they are so intensive and frequent last couple of years. Maybe because my life is not illusively stable as I'd like to see it and I still don't do exactly what I'd like to do).

Problems and undesirable circumstances (annoying job, money and relationships problems, another conditional issues etc.) won't go away from your life immediately, but you can drastically diminish the negative impact on you and your mental health just by conscious desire to help yourself and let your inner being lead you. Previously I've already written about it in this way I think, but every time I break through my breakdown I feel it in the other new way than before (probably you've felt the same pretty much in your life), words are the same but different insights are keeping in the mind... words never will be able to explain everything...

The main thing is not to rush. You have enough time, we all have enough time to go through every experience we need to become more mindful and connected with own inner being, with own higher aims. Just ask your life to give you this time to figure out all things you need to figure out. Believe me this is quite possible even if you're a pretty busy person. Mainly, because in these situations only your mental health really matters. We can't live happily and healthy when something wrong with our mental state, right?

Another thing is to be aware of your emotions, when your mood goes down. Ask yourself why it's happened? Could you change your attitude towards events, your activity, actions of others? Is it the right reason to ruin your entire day or even week and more just because of uncontrolled emotions? Or you can shift your attention from negative emotions towards thinking about your dreams by conscious decision? One thoughts displace another ones and we can control the direction of our thoughts if we're conscious about this fact. Just by mindful replacing negative self-talk on positive images and thoughts (I'd like to pay closer attention to this theme in my future blogposts). It's easy if you allow yourself.

How to leap from one breakdown to another breakthrough quicker? I don't know. Let yourself cry, suffer and resist until your ego will broken. And then you'll feel a relief.

How to understand if you've already broken through your identity shell? You'll feel it for sure. You'll be peaceful and slightly inspired (or maybe not slightly). But I've found that the safest and most stable place for my mind is peacefulness (not overdelightful state of mind but not miserable one too, both are super unstable if you know what I mean).

I'm not claiming that for now I'm entirely positive in my thoughts and live in the imaginary world of pink tones, problems disappeared and nothing can bother me, no, not at all, but now it's way easier to stop myself from panicking and negative self-talking just by noticing that and by conscious shifting thoughts towards desirable things or just concentrate on doing what I'm doing in the present moment (because it is the real mindfulness and living in the moment, isn't it).

In moments of panicking I stop negative thoughts and start focusing on my breath. Even if it sounds cheesy, it works effectively (‘cause it's the easiest way to shift your attention from negativity) if you stop resistance (I had this stubbornness too). Sometimes panic can come right in your bed but I focus on my breath again until I start feeling calmer and can fall asleep. And I have to admit I feeling way more peaceful than before (and before I was super anxious every single day). And there's no need to waste your money on super trendy techniques, endless amount of books, courses and gurus’ performances. We already have everything to help ourselves in our minds. Besides you can find helpful information on the Internet for free but be careful, not everything is safe and harmless, think twice before you try something (I feel like I'm your mom right now haha).

Conscious shifting the focus of thoughts on neutral things is the easiest way to train sore anxious mind to be more positive and healthy. And detaching yourself from external sources (like any qualities and quantities which prove your identity).

I honestly don't like preaching style of articles and believe that you able to realize everything you need on your own but I also believe that some words/thoughts can evoke necessary movements/impulses in our consciousness and help to reconnect with your inner being which ‘sleeps’ in your head (not actually sleeps we just don't hear it, not in psycho ways like ghosts are talking with us, of course not, but in the way of spontaneous desires, ideas, insights which you inevitably should realize, and sure that you can do everything you soul/inner being asks). But no words can explain what it's like. So just let's walk around it until it turn into desirable insights...

PS I'm going to write more structured blogposts too, I mean about finding peace, of course. Kind of step by step “how to”, some tips and tricks I'm using currently (to look at this theme from another side, more practical so to say), maybe it will be helpful too. But for this blogpost I didn't want that it turns into too long tiring article. So till the next time, loves!

Hope you're having a good day!


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